Difficult Journey to Discovery of dyslexia and slow processing speed
My daughter began her homeschooling journey just like any other kiddo. Letter of the week, colors, number recognition, you know…the basic stuff. She progressed without issue. We moved through preschool and kindergarten, but I began to see some red flags as we inched closer to first grade. While she loved history, art, and mapwork, she wasn’t grasping the reading or spelling concepts. She struggled with word decoding, did not retain sight words regardless of continuous repetition, and her reading rate, fluency, accuracy, and comprehension were non-existent.
We pressed on. Frustration grew. Tears flowed. “What is happening?!” I thought. Initially, I assumed she was defiant and unwilling to learn the material, especially because she is an extremely strong-willed child. But, as the months passed and we closed up first grade with no forward progression whatsoever with reading, spelling, or math, I had no choice but to consider some difficult options as to what we were dealing with.
After researching the best neuropsychologists near us, I took my little girl in to be tested. It was a grueling, multi-day ordeal that exhausted her but she was a trooper! Receiving my daughter’s detailed diagnosis of dyslexia and slow processing speed in addition to dyscalculia, was the perfect storm of heartbreak and relief.
Admittedly, I was scared. Terrified, really. “How will I teach her? How will she learn to read?” A million questions raced through my head as I had zero experience with any of her diagnoses. I fired up my laptop and immediately dove into Google to find answers for my little girl.
What is Dyslexia?
Before I move on to the interview with my daughter, I would like to share my knowledge of dyslexia and slow processing speed because, throughout this journey, I have learned that both are extremely misunderstood and desperately need more attention.
In fact, Washington State (where we live) is nationally recognized for the lack of knowledge and support of students with dyslexia and slow processing speed, within our public schools. Children with dyslexia can learn to read and write well but it must be taught in a specific, structured, multi-sensory, approach and public schools currently do not have the funding to train teachers, as it is quite expensive.
🔴. FACT: According to DyslexiaHelp, one in five children, or 20%, have dyslexia yet, only one in ten students with dyslexia will qualify for an individualized education plan (IEP) to help them learn to read and write.
Dyslexia is a language-based learning disability that impacts one’s ability to take thoughts and write them out on paper, spell correctly, formulate sentences, compose a paragraph, and reading comprehension. One will also continue to write letters backward as this is not something that will be retained.
Decoding is the process of seeing a word, recognizing the sounds each letter makes, and then sounding out the word and recognizing it. My daughter’s ability to decode is in the 2nd percentile, meaning 98% of children her age will be able to decode a word faster and more accurately than she will. The effort it takes her to do the above far supersedes the ability to execute the task successfully so, she finds other resources to reach her goal efficiently and accurately.
Dyscalculia is a math-based learning disability that often goes hand in hand with dyslexia. It impacts the ability to comprehend number sense, place value, tell and manage time, and mathematical operations. Often numbers are flipped backward as well.
What is Processing Speed?
According to Understood, processing speed is the pace at which one can take external information in and make sense of what it is. As you can see in the table below, my daughter’s processing speed is measured at 5%. This means, 95% of children her age will process incoming information faster than she does. It may take my daughter some time to respond or she may need the person to repeat what was said as she didn’t have the time to process it.
However, dyslexia and slow processing speed should not be confused with intelligence. Her intelligence quotient (IQ) is measured at 126, well above the average of 100. A person’s intelligence quotient is the measure of one’s intelligence, reasoning ability, and problem-solving capacity. I share her intelligence quotient to state the point that, while she has an above-average IQ, it will still take her significantly more time than her peers to take in the information provided to her, process it, and respond appropriately.
Children with dyslexia and slow processing speed, who are taught in a traditional classroom setting, will not be able to keep up with the pace of instruction. Important details of the lessons are often missed and this adds to the overwhelm due to the amount of information they are expected to process. It’s imperative to remember that dyslexia and slow processing speed do not have any bearing on intelligence, however; slow processing and the inability to keep up can and will lead to self-esteem issues and a lack of confidence if not addressed properly.
Additionally, when it comes to socializing, we are expected to respond and converse quickly. Children with dyslexia and slow processing speed may withdraw and become embarrassed due to their inability to keep up on a conversation. Throw in the tendency to lose words, and this is a sure-fire recipe to hurt a child’s confidence unless these issues are properly addressed.
Prior to my daughter’s diagnosis, I had never heard of processing speed nor was I aware this was a condition that could negatively affect how children learn, socialize, and take the world in. Each child should be recognized for their own, individual learning styles and neurodiversity.
Interview With My 11 Year Old Daughter
Before we talk about dyslexia and slow processing speed, let’s talk a bit about you. Tell me a bit about your social needs and being an introvert…things like that.
“Well, I am most definitely an introvert. It’s sometimes hard because I’m with my family all the time, not that that’s bad, but it’s hard because my brother has ADHD and he never ever ever ever stops going and he always bugs me and asks me questions and wonders if I want to have a sleepover with him.
I need people to be patient with me. I’m going to pause when I talk because I don’t remember a word. I’m going to ask a million questions because I forgot what they said and they are just going to have to be okay with that. And, people are going to have to accept that I need my space alone.”
🔴 PAUSE: It is very common for dyslexia and slow processing speed to cause words to be lost or temporarily forgotten. It often takes my daughter extra time to retell a story. However, it’s important to know forgetting or mispronouncing words is not to be confused with a lack of vocabulary. Her vocabulary library score is actually in the superior range but, the process to recall those words can sometimes be inhibited due to her dyslexia.
Describe in your own words what it means to be an introvert.
“It doesn’t mean I don’t like being around people. I get my energy from being alone. Like coloring with myself or going in my room alone and watching something….getting into my zone of whatever I like to do.”
Let’s talk about your processing time.
“I have slow processing speed, and most of the time, I have to move my lips at the same time someone else is talking (saying what they’re saying). Sometimes, I have to ask people to say something over again because I didn’t process it. That’s hard sometimes because my brother thinks that it’s just a habit for me to say “What?” and that I do that to annoy people but, that’s not what I’m trying to do.”
How does your dyslexia and slow processing speed affect your learning time and/or school time?
“It depends. Like, in math tutoring today, my tutor was telling me a number and I was supposed to write it down. It was in the thousands and millions. I had to ask her over and over what the number was again.”
What does the world think dyslexia is?
“I think the world thinks dyslexia is where you can’t read at all which is not true. It’s just harder for me to learn how to read. Spelling is harder than reading but, it’s more fun.”
What do you want people to know about your dyslexia and slow processing speed?
“Well, I want people to know that dyslexia doesn’t mean I can’t read or write. It means I have a difficult time doing it but, it doesn’t mean I can’t. It just takes me longer.”
How do you feel about that?
“Well, it depends on if people are nice about it and they get it.”
Explain how dyslexia and slow processing speed affects you on a typical day.
“It’s really hard because I’m just having a regular conversation with whoever and I cannot talk. I mean, I can but, it’s really hard for me to think of the words to talk and say it out of my mouth.”
Why is that?
“I think part of that is my slow processing speed and that kind of adds on to it.”
What happens when you are asked to read out loud in front of people?
“I have never really been in that situation because I avoid it at all times but, if I did…let’s say I was in a class and they said to read this out loud, I would probably read it but, I would have to ask for help. I kinda get embarrassed but, I understand I have dyslexia and I can’t really read that word at the time. And it doesn’t help because when I’m nervous or stressed, my dyslexia and slow processing speed get worse.”
Tell me about a time when you were teased about your dyslexia and slow processing speed?
“One time, I was teased when I was with my friends and I accidentally spelled a word wrong and they laughed at me. I told them to stop but they wouldn’t.”
How did you feel?
“I was sad and mad and embarrassed.”
What do you wish you could have told them?
“There is no way I could have spelled that word right at that moment because I didn’t! I wish they would have just told me how to spell it and I would have corrected it.”
What do you wish your friends knew about dyslexia and slow processing speed?
“I wish my friends knew that I have dyslexia and slow processing speed (well, they know the dyslexia part), but I don’t know how to spell a lot of things. They do know that but, I wish they understood how to deal with it and not make fun of me. Well, they just sometimes do that. Not always.”
What do wish your brother knew about your dyslexia and slow processing speed?
“Well, what I wish he would know….well, he already knows this but, I want him to actually understand it and know about it when it’s happening. I want him to know I’m slower than him and I always will be. I want him to be nice when I do go slower than him and I want him to not push me to go faster. I don’t want him to sigh and I want him to just wait.”
What do you wish your dad knew about your dyslexia and slow processing speed?
“Well, I think my dad sometimes underestimates how good I am at reading and I wish he would understand I can read…it’s just harder.”
What do you wish your dad knew about you being an introvert?
“I wish that my dad understood that I don’t need more friends. I have four main friends and that’s all I need. I don’t need millions and trillions of friends! I just need four.
It’s also hard because I spend every other weekend with two ADHD boys when I have a slow processing speed and they are very very very very fast and I’m very very very very slow and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. They go so fast! They just roll over my conversations and sometimes they talk over me and I usually don’t get a full conversation in. I have no energy left after that. I’m pooped after that and I need no one at that time! I need a hug from Mom and I need to go up to my room and sit or draw and be alone and do whatever I need to do at that moment.”
What do you wish Brian (step-dad) knew about your dyslexia and slow processing speed?
“I don’t know. I mean, I’m not really in situations where he needs to do anything about it so, I don’t know.”
What do you wish Brian knew about your slow processing speed?
“This happens very rarely…very very rarely but, sometimes he goes a little too fast and I need him to slow down.”
What do you wish I knew about your dyslexia and slow processing speed?
“Well, you already know everything. You’re the one who tells me about everything. Honestly, I think you know more than I do!”
Let’s talk about learning and schoolwork. When you decide to research a topic and create an Interest Project, what is your process?
“How I research it is, I go onto Google and search out what I need and then I read about it a little bit.”
How do you tell Google what you want to search for?
“Well, it depends. Like, my last interest project was about bananas (big smile). One of the little sections on my board says “fun facts about bananas” so that’s what I search for. I use voice to text and then I either copy and paste it into a Google Doc or I re-word it just a tiny bit. I can do that since I don’t actually turn it into a school. (Laughs) Once I have all of my facts, and fun facts, and jokes, and all of that, I print them and paste them onto my interest project board. I decorate the board and then I present it.
“One time, I used Alexa and I asked her to tell me a fact about bananas and then I turned on my voice to text on my computer and I let Alexa talk into my computer which makes it write on my Google Doc.
I also have an extension on my computer that helps me a lot. I highlight what I want to read and it gives me an option on if I want my computer to read it to me.”
When you are learning, how do you take notes?
“Like, let’s say I’m watching a video I’m supposed to watch. I either get a sticky note and write on that. It looks like gibberish to other people. Or sometimes I have to pause the video and voice to text it in a Google doc. Sometimes, I draw pictures but, I usually do that when you and I are learning history together.”
Tell me how you keep yourself organized during the day?
“Well, lists help a lot. Calendars, lists, and alarms. Those are the three main things I have to have. And I look on my calendar for things. I set timers for the things I saw on my calendar. And then, I have my checklists. I look at my calendar and set my reminder on whatever device I set my reminder on. That’s how I keep myself organized.”
How do you make checklists?
“Well, the way that I do it is I go on my iPad, then I go to Notes, I make a new folder that says “Today’s To-Do” or something like that. And then I either do it out of all emojis because I remember what I was talking about or I voice to text it and then put emojis in.”
What do you love about having dyslexia and slow processing speed?
“I love how artsy fartsy I am and…well, first of all I love my dyslexia because that makes me who I am. Same with my slow processing speed. And, what was the question?” (laughs a lot)
(Repeats Question) What do you love about having dyslexia and slow processing speed?
“I love the way that my brain sees things. I am not one bit sad I have dyslexia and slow processing speed.
What does that mean?
“Like, it’s hard to explain. I feel like I can see spatially if it’s even or if it’s not even or …like what Adam* sees. I can see where things fit best.”
*Adam is a family friend who also has dyslexia.
🔴. PAUSE: It is not uncommon for those with dyslexia to score very high in the Visual Spatial Index part of the test. According to ChildPsychologist, visual spatial index measures the child’s ability to evaluate and understand visual details and understand visual detail relationships to construct geometric designs from a model. My daughter scored in the 97th percentile.
Ongoing Support and Education
Currently, traditional public school classrooms are set up for one-size-fits-all instruction but, how does that benefit every child? Collectively, we must normalize our learning and processing differences and celebrate them. Teaching and modeling empathy for one another and embracing individuality when it comes to learning and processing will go a long way in children’s emotional and academic development.
One of the ways I support my daughter is to homeschool her. With dyslexia and slow processing speed of 5%, placing her in a traditional classroom would be setting her up to fail. Public schools must follow protocol and stay on pace. While this method may work with some students, there is not an opportunity to slow down for students with slower processing or other learning differences. 95% of the children will process the information being taught faster than my daughter will.
However, being schooled at home has truly allowed her the opportunity to grow and learn at her own pace without the added stress of ‘keeping up’ or missing crucial information. We have the freedom to speed up through a topic or slow down until she grasps the concept.
We Celebrate Dyslexia and slow processing speed!
Before her diagnosis, she presented a lot of anxiety and embarrassment. She worried about being teased and not knowing how to read like other kids her age. Receiving her diagnosis and arming her with as much knowledge as we can about dyslexia and slow processing speed, in addition to teaching her about her personal and social needs, has allowed her the space to discover her true self and gain a high level of confidence in accepting her neuro-diversity.
She has become extremely resourceful. All of her technology tricks are self-taught. I feel grateful and blessed to live in a time where technology has been so helpful for my daughter. We check in often to see how she is feeling, progressing, and learning and she continues to remain curious and asks questions about herself to learn if certain things are a symptom of dyslexia and slow processing speed…or if it’s simply human nature.
She is is the best at being herself and does so unapologetically. Her caring and sweet disposition, endless love of every living creature, desire to adopt out all the puppies on earth, determination to stop the fracking of oil, dreams of saving the planet, an engineering mindset, a deep love of family game night, and a boundless curiosity about the world around her, she is a joy to be around and I am proud and grateful to be this girl’s Momma.
While I find academic intelligence to be extremely important, self-awareness and emotional intelligence and regulation are far superior. If she continues on this journey of feeling confident and safe with her own self and her worth, understanding her own social and personal needs and always setting healthy boundaries for herself, then I’m not worried about this sweet girl. The rest will fall into place and this amazing human will move mountains in her lifetime.
Do you have a child with dyslexia and slow processing speed? What has helped your family? How do you celebrate your child’s neurodiversity?
